Gross Darkness In Marriage

GROSS DARKNESS IN MARRIAGE.

"For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee." - Isaiah 60:2 (KJV)

The phrase "Gross Darkness" speaks of:

Deep ignorance, 

Great disorder, 

Open stupidity, 

Obvious misunderstanding, 

Awkward disobedience, 

A careless "I don't care" attitude, and

Unhindered wickedness.

Sadly, this gross darkness has found its way into many marriages and homes.

Marriage was never designed to be a lonely journey. 

It was meant to be supported by family, community, wisdom, and godly counsel. 

Yet today, many young couples are left to struggle alone while those who should offer guidance and support stand at a distance with an attitude of:

"It's their problem, let them handle it."

As a result, many people find themselves trapped in relationships filled with unreasonable stress, constant disrespect, strife, emotional torment, manipulation, neglect, and even abuse. 

What should be a place of peace becomes a battlefield.

As a Pastor, I strongly believe in the sanctity of marriage. 

Marriage is God's institution and should be honored. 

However, God never intended marriage to become a prison of suffering or a danger to one's life.

If you are living under constant mistreatment, violence, or circumstances that threaten your physical, emotional, or mental well-being, seek help immediately. 

Do not remain silent while your life is being destroyed. 

Do not keep waiting for a miracle while danger grows around you.

Sometimes the greatest act of wisdom is to step away from what is destroying you. 

Do not struggle endlessly to preserve the appearance of a marriage when "Gross Darkness" has become its dominant atmosphere.

Your life is precious. 

Your safety matters. 

Your dignity matters. 

Your future matters.

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished" -Pro.22:3 KJV

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

IN MARRIGE, PROTECT UNITY.

IN MARRIGE, PROTECT YOUR UNITY.

One of the greatest threats to any marriage, family, friendship, or church is not always a major crisis. 

More often, it is the accumulation of small wounds—harsh words, prolonged silence, pride, unforgiveness, and unresolved conflicts.

Strong relationships are not built because people never disagree. 

They are built because people choose to fight for each other instead of against each other.

Today, make a conscious decision to: 

✔ Speak with honor and respect.

✔ Apologize quickly when you are wrong.

✔ Forgive fully when you are hurt.

✔ Refuse to use another person's weaknesses as a weapon.

When conflict arises, remember that raising your voice rarely solves the problem. 

Raising your humility does.

The Holy Spirit is a restorer. 

He heals broken hearts, mends damaged relationships, and rebuilds what pride and offense try to destroy. 

Don't allow pride to stand in the way of the healing that God desires to bring.

"Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." — Ephesians 4:3 (KJV)

May our marriages and homes become places where love is stronger than offense, forgiveness is quicker than resentment, and unity is protected at all costs.

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

MARRIAGE STRUGGLES.

POWER STRUGGLES IN MARRIGE: ONE+ONE=ONE: BUT.....WHICH ONE?

Every marriage starts with a beautiful love story.

Two people meet, connect, dream together and promise "Forever-Yours".

But from the very first day, that story can slowly begin to mutate.

One of the greatest causes of this mutation is the struggle for power.

Who should lead?

Who should decide?

Who should be obeyed?

Who should have the final say?

The Bible says that in marriage, TWO people become ONE.

But the difficult question many couples silently wrestle with is:

Which ONE? 

The MAN or the WOMAN?

Sadly, when marriage becomes a battlefield for dominance instead of a sanctuary for love, peace begins to disappear. 

Ego replaces humility. 

Competition replaces cooperation.

Control replaces companionship.

Marriage was never designed to be a war for supremacy.

It was designed to be a union of mutual love, honour, sacrifice and understanding.

A healthy marriage is not about who is greater.

It is about two people choosing to become greater together.

When love leads, power struggles lose their strength.

Ephesians 5:21 (KJV):

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

LEGALIZE YOUR MARRIGE

LEGALIZE YOUR MARRIGE:

Beloved brethren, today I want to encourage those in marriages without a Marriage Certificate to go and get registered as soon as possible. 

There are many forms of relationships evolving in Kenya.

Some of them are:

1. Come We Stay.

2. Come We Try

3. Come We Test.

4. Come We Taste etc.

Unfortunately The Kenya Marriage Act, 2014 recognizes FIVE types of marriages ONLY: 

1. Civil, 

2. Christian, 

3. Customary,

4. Hindu, and 

5. Islamic. 

All marriages, regardless of type, MUST be registered by the registrar of Marriages, and issued with a Marriage Certificate.

Don't live in Assumption.

Children in a relationship are not a Valid Proof of Marriage: 

so babies are NOT a Valid "Marriage Certificate". 

Simply said: "Having babies together does not substitute for a Marriage Certificate".

The cost of a Marriage Certificate is not much even with the recent government price hikes. 

Processing a Marriage Certificate is not hard. 

You start the process on your eCitizen portal before being invited for an interview by Registrar of Marriages.

A Marriage Certificate has many benefits.

1. Legal Recognition.

2. Proof of Relationship

3. Access To Spouse Medical Covers 

4. Protection of Matrimonial Property Rights, (Especially during Succession, Separation or Divorce Settlements)

5. Protection against "Strangers in a Marriage"

6. Immigration Benefits, eg Visa Processing. 

7. Social and Cultural Acceptance, etc.

Do the necessary. 

Legalize your Marriage. 

It is good for you and your children. 

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

Don't Ignore Red Flags

DON'T IGNORE RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP. 

My beloved brethren, marriages and relationships are very precious, and they deserve to be nurtured at all times, and at some premium prices.

Unfortunately, they can be fragile and easily damaged by seemingly small issues. 

One of the most crucial aspects of maintaining a healthy relationship is recognizing and addressing Red Flags early on time.

Cheating and unfaithfulness, while devastating, can often be detected through subtle signs, if you pay close attention to small details. 

Remember, Song of Solomon 2:15 KJV,

"Take us the foxes, 

the little foxes, 

that spoil the vines: ......"

A small fox, is a fox, and not a cat.

A small snake, is a snake,......it will never grow to something nicer. 

Be mindful of your partner's behavior and trust your gut instincts. 

If something feels off, don't dismiss it. 

Engage in open and honest communication to address any Little Reds Frags.

This will resolve future conflicts and building a stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Now you know.

You are a little wiser.

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

Marriage In Kenya: Marriage Act 2014

COME WE STAY:

Not A Legally Recognised Marriage:

Beloved brethren, today I want to encourage those in marriages without a Marriage Certificate to go and get registered as soon as possible. 

Kenya Marriage Act, 2014 recognizes five types of marriages: 

1. Civil, 

2. Christian, 

3. Customary,

4. Hindu, and 

5. Islamic. 

All marriages, regardless of type, must be registered by the registrar of Marriages, and issued with a Marriage Certificate.

Don't live in Assumption.

"Come We Stay" is just good friendship or generous neighbourhood-ness.

Babies in a relationship are not a Marriage Certificate. 

The cost of a Marriage Certificate is less the cost of an Ordinary Family Dinner. 

A Marriage Certificate has many benefits.

1. Legal Recognition.

2. Proof of Relationship

3. Access To Spouse Medical Covers 

4. Protection of Matrimonial Property Rights, (Especially during Succession, Separation or Divorce settlements)

5. Protection against "Strangers in a Marriage"

6. Immigration Benefits, eg Visa Processing. 

7. Social and Cultural Acceptance, etc.

A wedding is not a must.

Now you know. 

Go and Do the Necessary.

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

Marriage Build To Last

MARRIAGE BUILD TO LAST:

Dear brethren, despite the battle against families and marriages, the institution of marriage remains a sacred covenant where two become one.

Jesus summarised it very well in Mark 10:9 KJV:

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder"

Two commandments found in Ephesians 5:22&25 help marriages to last.

1. Wife submit to your husband 

2. Husband love your wife like Christ loved the church. 

Though these two commands may seem difficult, they are indeed God's blessings for a thriving marriage. 

A husband should make it easier for his wife to submit and actually help her to do it. 

In real life, a wife cannot submit without the help of the husband. 

A wife on the other hand should make easy for her husband to love her and actually help him to love her.

In real life, its difficult for a husband to love his wife without the help of the wife.

That is why marriage was made for "Help Meets".

In conclusion:

•Husband, help your wife to submit. Facilitate her for submission. 

•Wife, help your husband to love you. Make it easier and enjoyable for him to love and cherish you.

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

Disagreements in Marriage

In Marriage, Learn To Love Each Other Through Your Disagreements:

My beloved brethren, today I want to encourage and inspire couples with a statement I heard from one of my spiritual fathers. He said,

"In marriage, learn to love each other through your disagreements"

Marriage is a beautiful and sacred union, but it's not without its challenges. 

True love is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to navigate it with grace and understanding.

The Scripture reminds us that "perfect love casts out fear".

In 1 John 4:18 KJV, the Bible reads, 

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."

When we approach our disagreements with the spirit of love, we can easily move past the fear and anxiety that often accompanies conflict.

When we approach our conflicts with the spirit of love, we find opportunities to grow closer together.

Remember, your partner is not your enemy, but your teammate in this journey of life. 

By learning to listen, empathize, and find compromises, you can turn your disagreements into moments of deeper connection and understanding. 

Don't fight over your challenges. 

Instead use your challenges as stepping stones to a better relationship. 

Embrace your challenges, for it is in the midst of them that your love can truly blossom and thrive.

I am speaking from the scriptures and also from my own personal experiences.

Boniface Amani Gichina (CPM)

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