Let me start off by saying no one is immune to sexual temptation. It doesn’t matter what your job is, how old you are or how much time you spend with Jesus each day. We all have the potential to fall sexually. Even ministers … and maybe especially ministers.
Ministers have jobs that
automatically put them in a pressure cooker.
It’s not unusual to have a stressful
job, but there are five unique aspects of a ministry position that make it
more vulnerable to opening the door to sexual temptation.
1. A
pastorate is a place of power.
Whether the minister is using it or
not, he has great influence over others.
The pastor is an authority, he is
looked up to, he is on stage and he is usually highly regarded. Broken
people with damaged lives come regularly to talk with the minister, many of
them desperate for a word or attention.
It is not hard for a minister to
sway others with their words or personality. The minister probably doesn’t
realize the power he has over others.
2. Ministers
are often isolated and unaccountable for their actions.
Ministers spend large amounts of
time alone. Many don’t have a set schedule or a structured day. They don’t have
to clock in and out of work, and don’t usually have church leaders asking them
accountability questions.
This is especially true for the
small church minister who is often the only staff member. Isolation and
lack of accountability are seedbeds for disaster.
3.
Protection and policies around ministers can be lax.
Churches rarely have policies
requiring accountability software on their computer or mobile phone. Few
or no precautions are taken when the minister is counseling someone of the
opposite sex. And ministers often go on visitation to homes by themselves.
Policies don’t cure bad behavior or
a wayward congregant, but they provide an extra boundary that may be a
difference maker in a tempting situation.
4.
Ministers have few people they can share their deepest struggles with.
It’s hard for a minister to be
transparent. His closest relationships are usually with church people, and
he doesn’t want to share deeply with parishioners. Neither does he share his
personal or sexual struggles with other ministers for fear he might lose his
job.
5.
Ministers frequently feed off the approval of others.
Ministers can be approval
addicts. Their identities can revolve around the attention and comments of
others.
A minister’s wellbeing, if it is
unhealthy, rises and falls with every “Good sermon” or “Sister Jones is mad at
you.” Not only are broken church members looking for attention, but so are
broken ministers.
Sexual tension in a minister/parishioner
relationship is powerful and deadly. It pushes the button of an approval addict
and the needy church member, and can quickly lead to disaster.
START THE CONVERSATION, HAVE
COURAGE.
Unfortunately, we must initiate
these conversations with our staff and church leaders. It’s doubtful a lay
leader or denominational leader will get the ball rolling until there is a
moral failure.
It takes courage to talk about
potential holes in our ministry. It takes a higher motivation for
integrity and sexual purity to draw boundaries, write policies and set up
accountability.
These are points of
vulnerability. They have been fault lines for many ministers before us who
have fallen sexually. We ministers have a high responsibility and are
accountable for the souls of many.
We mustn’t be lax in dealing with
areas of sexual vulnerability or questioning our staff about them.
About Jeff Fisher
Jeff Fisher is a minister, blogger
and podcaster from Raleigh, NC. He is a graduate of Southwestern Seminary in
Ft. Worth and pastored churches in Texas and New York. Deep recovery began for
Jeff when his pornography addiction caused him to lose his ministry position.
For the first time, he began discovering the sexual health that God intended
for him and for his marriage.
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